Anything for the Colonel!
by Pictomancer-Murasaki
Summary: RoyXAl Slight gaghumor, Alphonse wanted to do anything for the love of Taisa! Be warned slight disturbing if you're not used to Armor!Al!


Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist and it's characters. K?

He loved the _armor_ Alphonse very much.

Pairing: AlXRoyXAl

Rating: PG-13...? Humour...?

Notes: Dedicated to our super-seme!Roy Silentside(LJ), though I'm sure she wouldn't be reading this! points to the pairing (actually I prefer RoyXAlXRoy, I guess I was inspired today) Hey! It's humour. Hey, at last I pulled off a single-pairing fic without deleting a close chara of the main. proud

**WARNING:** Aniki Pic Kuroi-aka said this fic is disturbing for people who're not used to the armor!Al pairings. YOU'VE been warned!

**Anything for the Colonel**

"Tell me, Colonel-" Edward was able to corner the Flame Alchemist in his office while he was lazily working on his paperwork, "- How much do you love Al?"

The colonel tiredly looks up to Edward and gave an uninterested, "Hm?"

The younger Alchemist never liked it when the older military man doesn't answer him normally- 'specially when it's about Alphonse. He's just- worried, that's all. The younger Elric has been cheering for Roy and was dancing around their apartment in glee not minding that he's armor and all, and he might bother their neighbors.

Roy just gave a smile to Edward, that bothered the blonde more... "He's a nice armor," then the colonel grins and stands up from his seat.

"Eh?" for sure, it wasn't a good answer from Roy. Edward raises a brow, "Colonel?" he moves away as soon as taller man stood up from his seat and started striking poses.

"His eyes gives off this beautiful mellow light!" Roy started.

"Wha...?"

"The way he creaks- is music to my ears!" he poetically stated.

"Colonel...?"

"The smell of oil and it's color is just like sweet honey to my eyes!" the tone of his voice was the same when he was praising the puppy, Black Hayate-gou. "Oh yes! I _LOVE_ him so MUCH! 3 3 3" he shouted followed by insane laughter.

Roy looked like he's imagining things about his miniskirt-fetish- though this time- it's an armor-love towards the Fullmetal Alchemist's younger brother... It was worse. He couldn't help but doubt if the Colonel was joking or not- he couldn't tell if the man seriously loves Al or it's just another challenge for him- to take and break a child's heart.

The laughter faded and Roy cleared his throat for attention then he pats Edward's back, "Don't worry, Fullmetal."

... But the Flame Alchemist's action's awhile ago was enough to make Edward more concerned for his younger brother...

-

"Colonel..." an armor shyly approaches the colonel on his desk. "If... we'll be together..." the small voice fades.

"Hm...?" Roy kindly asks, "What is it, Alphonse-kun?" he encourages the boy to continue.

Alphonse gave a gulping sound, "I was... wondering how I can-" his helmet looks away, "- _please_ you?" he squeaked.

The older alchemist was surprised. He chokes but hurriedly turns it into an amused chuckle, "What's with the sudden question, Alphonse-kun?" what can this 14 year old child be thinking?

"You see... I like you... and you like me even if I'm like this. I just wanted to return the favor. I wanted to make you happy!" the boy's voice was desperate, and his eyes were also eyeing Roy for an answer.

He stares at the armor for a while...

What can Al do with a body that can't have sex...? Besides, he can't take advantage over a kid- though it's a nice thought- but the Fullmetal Alchemist would kill him!

"It's sad... All I can do was embrace you and do a fake kiss..." Alphonse sadly said.

Why was this boy so desperate? "A-Alphonse-kun, I'm already happy with that... besides, I can wait for you to get your body back, and I'll help in any way I can!" he pet's the helmet..

"Still, I want you to be _pleased_..." the boy knew well what his lover needed, and he can't leave Roy's needs be ignored. He started to think until, realization hits him and his eyes lit up, "I know!"

The Colonel looks up at Alphonse, wondering. "I'll ask Niisan for a favor so we can to _it_! He'll understand, right?"

Roy's eyes stared at the armor, feeling somewhat disturbed about Alphonse's little joke, "Do _it_...? A-Alphonse-kun..."

The armor jumps around in excitement, "I'll ask Niisan to transmute me a bleep so you and me can have sex!"

"W-wait! Alphonse-kun-!" before Roy could stop Al from leaving- the boy has already happily left... Roy just hoped that Alphonse's just joking...

-

"Please?"

"Well..." Edward examines his younger brother's armor, "he _DID_ say that he loves you and that armor..." Al's eye-light's started sparkling when his brother said that, he was overly excited.

Then Edward grins evilly, "You want a _big one_?"

"Yes please!" the hint of gladness in the young Elric's voice was never wavering. He _badly_ wanted this.

"Heh, the bastard Colonel asked for this..."

-

The next time Alphonse was able to catch Roy in his office...

"Alphonse!"

"Colonel! 3" as soon as Alphonse approaches Roy's desk, the man's eyes widens in shock as soon as he see's the armor's loincloth was up like an... umbrella.

"What do you think? Niisan made it for me!"

Roy gave a second look, but it's still there. He was still in shock. The only thing he could say were a string of curse words.

Alphonse leans closer to Roy, "This way, I can _please_ you!" the Colonel stood silent, he couldn't say anything more from his shock.

"It seem's the Colonel is scared stiff from Alphonse's special thingy," a voice came from the office's entrance, it was Alphonse brother. "F-fullmetal..." Roy's voice was shaking as he tried to call for the teasing-evilly grinning older Elric.

He didn't like Edward's expression one bit...

"Well, I gave Al some extra oil for lubricant," he steps out of the room and said an "Enjoy! 3" before closing and locking the door. Roy's jaw drops as Alphonse pulls him out of his desk and into the sofa.

"A-Alphonse-kun..."

"I'll be gentle, Colonel."

The armor cheerfully assures as he slowly removes his loincloth and readies some oil-

-

Despite what happened the other day- Roy still loved Alphonse after that. 3

**Wakas**

Usual topic, I know. I was inspired by Japanese RoyXAlXRoy fics, y'know.3 So you can all blame it on them.

123005

Thanks for reading!

Salamat!

**Pictomancer Murasaki**


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